When he heard that two loonies his most loyal fans were to
produce this esteemed publication, our inspiration and subject,
Mr. Jasper Fforde, at once offered to subject himself to a grilling
by the fans. But we thought that sounded a bit painful, so we
said we’d do an interview instead. So, we asked you, the Fforde
fans, to think of penetrating and devious questions for Mr.
Fforde, in the hope of eliciting from him sufficient interesting
answers to provide enough copy to fill our mag. We are glad to
report that the production target was over-fulfilled. Not only
did you come up with some very pertinent questions, but Mr.
Fforde, proving yet again what a splendid chap he is, took time out from his busy schedule to answer
them very fully and most interestingly. Which is nice, otherwise we’d have had to pad it out with
wittering about toast, or something …. Adrian Lush eat your heart out.
What follows are Mr. Fforde’s answers to your questions, lightly edited for space, but omitting none of
the riveting detail. Read on.
The following questions were submitted by members of the Fforde Forum;
Q: Planning a trip to Australia? (Vanessa and Karen)
A: Not this year - two years running would be a little too much to hope. There is talk of a tour in 2004
but it depends on book sales, I guess. I went to the Brisbane writer’s festival last year and took the
opportunity to do signings and talks and stuff in Melbourne and Sydney. It was great fun - my first
time in Australia - even if a little hurried. I got one day off in three weeks and visited the Blue
Mountains - which I discovered were neither blue, nor mountains - but spectacular in spite of it. Mind
you, I was lucky to get even that one day - I was flown to New Zealand but was only there for forty
hours and had only 30 minutes to myself!
Q: Why 1985? Did something life-changing happen to you in 1985 for you to choose to set the books
then? (Carla)
A: No; it was a entirely arbitrary - I just wanted to tell the story as if it happened in deep retrospection -
as though this had all happened and only now can the truth be known. Originally I planned Thursday
to exist in our world as a private detective in Swindon. But The Eyre Affair had a long gestation and
much changed in the five or six years it took to write - but much stayed as it was, like flies in amber.
Book Archaeology is a young science but The Eyre Affair would make a good study. Plots are laid upon
plots, each one of them the original thrust of the book before being relegated to another. Commander
Bradshaw’s dig that you glimpse in TN2 was a reflection of this. One reader suggested that because of
the Orwellian connotations of Goliath, it was 1985 because the year before had been 1984. I should
claim this as it makes me sound more erudite, but it’s not true.
Q: Is Elmo, the Abyssinian cat, ever going to appear elsewhere, or do I have to wander around in the
Well of Lost Plots to find him? (Minsky the cat)
A: Most definitely. I have this sequence where Thursday is in the Well of Lost Plots and a cat winds
itself around her ankles, purring loudly.
‘Your cat?’ asks someone.
‘No,’ replied Thursday, ‘I’ve never seen him before.’
‘Well he seems to know you...’
But I haven’t put it in anywhere yet. Still in the ‘Shoebox of lost gags’.
Q: I really admire your ability to handle book-jumping and time travel in the same story, since it
does create a very open-ended virtual universe. Do you ever find it gets confusing to write, or does
it just come naturally? (Sarah)
A: It requires keeping a careful eye on, certainly. But since the two threads don’t actually collide, I can
keep them pretty separate. What is tricky is to keep the continuity right. I had to reread books one and
two when writing three - it’s surprisingly easy to let errors creep in.
Q: When you're writing, do you listen to music, and if so, what kind of stuff? Also, how do you take
your tea/coffee? (Fuzz)
A: I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from Rap to Classical to Latino to bratpack to Jazz.
I’m very fond of Vivaldi, much like Miss Havisham, and Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Pachelbel. Curiously, I
have also an inexplicable soft spot for seventies music. Blondie, ELO, Supertramp and even the Bee
Gees (the only post I ever deleted on the forum was a less-then-respectful parody of ‘Staying Alive’ the
day after Maurice Gibb died.) I take my tea and coffee in a cup, with milk and a quarter teaspoon of
sugar as I am meant to be cutting down. Mari and I have a Gaggia in the kitchen so we can get a decent
Mocha or Cappuccino here in the Welsh mountains. NB: Instant coffee is the work of Satan and should
be relabelled ‘Instant coffeesque-style flavoured drink’. Instant tea is below contempt and only for
people who dine on too much railway food.
Q: What do you think of obsessive fans who know the books better than you? (Carla) (Eds. - we
don’t know who she means….)
A: Distinctly flattered but then depressed when my attention is brought to a bloophole that I have left
in (See Jon Brierley’s “Guide to the Nextian Universe”.) My standard answer to someone who does
point out a glowing error is to thank them profusely, apologise - and then add it to my Upgrade page.
Q: Are you ever tempted to put in a load of really obscure references to give Jon a headache? (PSD)
A: I already have. They’re just so obscure he will never get them. Harry Flex the film producer is
named thus because of Arriflex cameras which I used a great deal when I was an assistant cameraman;
‘Hollycroft farm’ in TN-1 relates to Hollycroft Avenue in North London where I was born; “Finis
Hotel” is an anagram of my UK agent, and my US agent and editor’s names are there in the text, just
split between words and divided by punctuation. Carl and Brett, the anchormen and woman are my
editor’s assistant’s names. My partner Mari’s name is anagrammed too -and there is more - much
more!
Q: What was your favourite birthday present? (either for yourself or bought by you for someone
else)(Dave)
A: A huge set of Meccano when I was eight.
Q: What is your favourite book? (Dave)
A: Probably Alice in Wonderland. It was the first book I actually remembered picking up to read
aged seven or eight. I still have the same copy in my library. Top five must also include Catch-22, To Kill
a Mocking Bird, Slaughterhouse-5, Decline and Fall and Three Men in a Boat. I often read the section about sailing or transporting a cheese from Liverpool, (3M in a B) and it still makes me laugh. All the books
have references in mine. "Slaughterhouse-5?" I hear you ask, “where are the references to that?” Well,
Lola Vavoom is a name not a million miles from Montana Wildhack and the astute reader might notice
shades of the Tralfamadorians in the life cycle of BookPeople.
Q: Which Star Wars character would you be given the chance? (Dave)
A: Han Solo. Who wouldn’t?
Q: Are you now going to resurrect and publish your previously unpublished novels?(Karen)
A: Too bloody right. I have committed myself to publishing a book a year for ten years - and
publishing some of my back catalogue allows me to take two years to write a book instead of one. TN-3
has a vast publisher’s arm twist written in to bring out the Jack Spratt series - essentially Nursery
Crime my ‘Who killed Humpty Dumpty?’ story. For me, this is the final vindication as it was my first
book and the most rejected. I was, and still am, convinced that a book like this will be enjoyed by the
reading public. Humpty Dumpty killed on his favourite wall, shades of insider trading in Reading’s
burgeoning footcare industry, a missing 14kg verucca, Lola Vavoom, Ishmaelian revolution - this book
has it all! Incidentally, when Nursery Crime was rejected I wrote a Jack Spratt sequel The Fourth
Bear which was my dopey and hopelessly ineffective way of sticking two fingers up at those who
rejected my strange ramblings. And there are three other books waiting in the wings, too - TN-1 was
book five of six wot I had wrote when I was first published.
Q: How do you keep calm when interviewers ask really inane questions - ones that show that they
haven't read the book and/or haven't read many books at all it seems?! (Karen)
A: I spent twenty years in the film and advertising industry so am well placed to understand just how
important marketing and publicity is. There is no mileage in getting out of my pram with anyone, so I
just get on with it and try to give them what they need to write their article. They’ve got a job to do and
if I can help them do it, perhaps they will be kind to me and my books.
Q: How about if there was enough demand after the five books hopefully when (not if) they are
published, would you then go on and write one of Millon de Floss' essays/novels? Or would you try
and pad the TN books out into another couple of stories as with The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy in five parts? (Charles)
A: I’ll go as far with Thursday as I can before I begin to lose interest and the ideas become formulaic. If
I get bored, it will show. Thursday’s world is a broad palette so I can’t really see myself running out of
ideas; what I worry about is having to keep track of everything that has happened to her already.
Q: What kind of reaction did you get when getting the Porsche sprayed? (Adam)
A: Shaking of heads, smiles, tutting, mostly incomprehension - but no violent disagreements.
Q: How often do you read the Fforum? (Dave)
A: I try to keep up to date but when I am very busy and the forum has been humming, I don’t really
have time. I am sent every post to my inbox so I can skim it for anything vulgar or disagreeable. When
I’m less busy I will happily sit down and see what’s going on. Because I am a writer and tend to think
up scenarios all the time (in real life it’s called vacant day-dreaming) I have this idea that a couple will
meet on the Fforum, get married and I am invited to the wedding. Incidentally, there is a couple who
contacted me and said that if their unborn is a girl, they will name her Thursday. I am honoured. And
so is TN.
***Editor's note: This actually came to fruition and little Thursday Crowden was born on April 14, 2003! ***
Q: Other than your own, what's your favourite website? (Dave)
A: I log on every week to The Onion as it has a sense of humour most in tune with my own. If you
haven’t read the Onion’s ‘Our Dumb Century’ yet, you must. For US humour (sorry, humor) it is rare
and unique.
Q: Why haven't you mentioned Chippenham yet? It's smack bang in the middle of Thursday
country, you can't avoid it. (Lycanthra Pod)
A: Chippenham. Have I not? I have a 90 minute filmscript set in Chippenham entitled ‘Bad Sofa’ which
is about a demonically possessed gold dralon sofa. It has yet to be made.
Q: Is there any book that you hold in such a sacred regard that you wouldn't let Thursday go into it
and 'mess around', as it were, with the story? Not that she means to, but you know how she is...
(Sarah B)
A: I don’t think so. The books I hold in high regard I like her to go into - they just have to be in the
public domain for me to be able to do so. TN-3 has more contemporary characters and books and we
had to have permission to use them. Enid Blyton, Kipling, Beatrix Potter, Alfred Bester and Evelyn
Waugh very kindly gave permission, AA Milne, HG Wells and Walter De La Mare didn’t.
